Thanks for helping me understand all this. The net of this if I understand correctly is the relationship matching and the ethnic groups are two different tests even though ancestry sort of treats them the same. To put it non scientifically, the "parts" of the DNA they looked at to match us as parent/child are different from the "parts" for ethnic grouping, so in my case there wasn't any overlap between the two.
I do find it interesting that all the groups for her and I fit our family history, and when combined they cover all of Europe and the Middle East. So, on a "continental" level it's pretty accurate, but really doesn't contribute any additional knowledge other than not showing some unknown Asian or African ancestor.
I have another thread under "autosomal" which comes to this same conclusion:http://boards.ancestry.com/topics.dnaresearch.autosomal/37/m...