No matter what secrets our ancestors took to their graves, they
often leave others behind in unlikely places. The cemeteries where your ancestors
were laid to rest are often filled with clues to their lives, long after their
deaths.
If you're visiting the cemetery early in your research, you can learn a great
deal of value. Gravestones can confirm relationships of family members whose
names are listed together in granite. You'll know relatives' names before you
spend unnecessary time searching in public records offices.
Not only can a headstone tell you who is buried in a plot, but it can contain
the dates of birth and death for those interred there. The cemetery records
office has more extensive details regarding the deceased. Information varies
by cemetery, but you might learn the cause of death and other facts for which
vital statistics offices generally charge a fee.
It's common to find stillborn babies or infants who died just hours after birth
buried in family plots. The cemetery office will know for certain who, if anyone,
has paid for perpetual care for a gravesite, indicating a close relationship.
It might surprise you if the person turns out to be someone other than a family
member.
The office can also tell you who is not buried in a certain plot. Occasionally
families will inscribe relatives' names on a tombstone with the assumption that
those family members will be buried there in time. If the office has no record
of someone whose name is engraved on a stone, it might be an indication that
the deceased died in another state or, in the case of a widow, remarried.
The reverse is also true. Sometimes graves contain individuals whose names do
not appear on the stone. One family was surprised to discover that a complete
stranger had been buried in a family grave, and they were sure the cemetery
record keeper had made an error. An elderly uncle remembered the great-great-aunt
buried there and was able to tell younger family members that the woman had
never divorced her wayward husband because of a fear of scandal. In her later
years she had developed a close attachment to another man. Although they were
never able to marry, they found a way to spend eternity together.
Don't assume simply because a name is carved in stone that the person is buried
beneath it. Always ask either at the records office or by telephone the names
of all people buried in a plot.
Inaccuracies can still occur even on headstones. In one instance a family found
that the year of birth for the deceased was incorrect by a year. The mistake
had never been corrected, presumably due to the family's grief at the time of
death.
Other carvings can reveal insights into the family. Witticisms on a headstone
might indicate a sense of humor while sentimental verses hint at great affection.
In some cases a large monument might indicate wealth while the absence of any
headstone can be a sign of poverty.
A family who learned that eleven ancestors were buried in a family plot expected
to find names and dates carved on a sizable headstone. Instead, they were disappointed
to find a bare plot of land with no stone at all. The deceased father had been
an unskilled French- Canadian immigrant laborer with twelve children. While
he had lived to be one hundred and four years old, ten of his children died
before him, either from disease or accident. With so many funerals in so short
a period of time, headstones were simply too costly.
Other searchers have better luck. A grave marker at a site can tell you the
presence of an ancestor who fought in the Civil War or Revolutionary War. Whatever
you uncover, it's inspiring to know that even the grave doesn't silence our
ancestors.
Born and raised in Rhode Island, Karen Frisch has been an avid reader since
childhood when she also developed an interest in writing and drawing. She has
traced her lineage back thirty generations to the year 1100 through England,
Scotland, Germany, and Wales. A former teacher, she received a Master of Arts
in Victorian literature from the University of Rhode Island, with courses at
the University of London, and holds undergraduate degrees in English and art
from Rhode Island College. She is the host and writer of Pet Talk, an
award- winning cable television show on pets, and she is active with Volunteer
Services for Animals, working to aid homeless animals. She lives in Rhode Island
with her husband, a daughter adopted from China, and two dogs.
Karen is also the author of
Unlocking the Secrets in Old Photographs.
Ancestry Daily News
