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Ancestry Daily News
12/13/2001 - Archive
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Remembering Family at the Holidays |
Remembering Family at the Holidays
What's the best present for kids at the holidays? Not the latest toy. How about
giving them a sense of their family history? I'm talking about introducing your
children or grandchildren to the concept of genealogy. It is so easy to start
the process. My mother-in-law had a tradition of making Christmas cookies with
her children when they were younger. I've decided that it is a custom worth
carrying forward. Whenever we host the holidays, I gather together all the ingredients
and hand out aprons. My son and daughter love helping their Grandmother make
and decorate the treats. Of course, during the process I try to get her to talk
about her experiences doing the same task with her own children. There couldn't
be a more rapt audience than children listening to the mischievous exploits
of their father and his sisters. They always want the details. It doesn't matter
that the same stories get repeated-- it's oral history. It's one of the best
ways to get their attention. They are fascinated with how different the world
was for their parents or grandparents and how it is the same.
Establishing that sense of family is so important. It helps children understand
their place in the family and is reassuring. My son is happy that his Dad was
such a prankster and runs off to top anything his father did to torment his
sister. As the screaming in the other room starts, I can't believe I condoned
these stories. Wait a minute. Did I say that this was a good idea? Seriously,
as much as genealogists use charts and documents to organize their family research,
the kids won't be interested in looking at them. Think about simple ways to
bring genealogy into the holidays without immediately dragging out the tools
of the trade. If you have an old printed family tree, sampler, or some other
visual, then by all means, show it off. Then, try these other techniques to
incubate their interest.
Tell Stories. Remember what the holidays meant to you when you were
their age. Tell them about favorite toys, foods, and celebrations. They may
look at you like you're a dinosaur when you discuss your early life, but they
will be fascinated if you including fun details. Invite guests to participate
with tales of their own childhood. The best way to reach children and capture
their attention is to recount stories they can relate to, generally about what
happened when you were their age.
Show Pictures. My daughter spends countless hours with the family
photograph albums. She loves reliving her toddler years and looking at her family
when they were younger. Children are very perceptive. They will ask about the
events behind the photographs. I find young children, ages four to six, will
pick out details that adults overlook. For instance, they love to discuss why
someone was expressing a particular emotion. This is a wonderful time to find
all your pictures of pets and talk about them. As new owners of multiple fish,
my kids now love hearing about all the animals in the family. Not just the ones
I owned, but the fact that their grandmother had a dog called Snowball. What
a conversation starter! It only takes a child to approach an older person with
that look of intense curiosity to connect the generations with a question: "Nana,
why did you call your dog Snowball?" Half an hour later they will still be talking
about the topic and comparing pet exploits.
Take A Tour of Your House. There is bound to be some anecdotes behind
artifacts, whether antique or not. Is there a special piece of furniture or
a set of dishes passed down for generations? It doesn't have to be worthy of
an Antique Roadshow, it just has to be important to your family. I bet that
some of the kitchen appliances even have tales to tell. You probably have old
tools or accessories that will fascinate youngsters both because they are old
(remember we live in a society that replaces things) and because they haven't
seen anything like them before. My dad has his great-grandfather's equipment
passed down for three generations of the family business. Did I say this was
an activity for kids and adult children? Well, it is. This is a chance to get
your parents to discuss their lives, something they didn't have time to do when
you were young. They were too busy raising their children and paying the bills.
Sound familiar?
Let Older Children or Teenagers Design and Write the Family Newsletter.
You'll be surprised at their memories of each year's events. I guarantee you'll
find their highlights different from your own. I'd read it over before having
it duplicated and sent to family, just in case there is material you'd prefer
to remain private. My daughter is now fixated on how old people are in relation
to herself. Without a doubt she would mention how old I am. She manages to work
this detail in all of her conversations with friends these days, so I'm sure
it would make the family newsletter. I think that is why we don't have one.
The best part of these intergenerational activities is that they help children
stay in touch with their family at an age when they feel alienated.
Create a New Tradition. While you are preparing the habitual foods
and decorations, ask the children to develop a new legacy. It might be something
simple or you could go back to your roots and re-introduce a dish with an ethnic
flavor. Sometimes cooking is an oral tradition as well. My grandmother taught
my mother to make her special chowder and she taught me. In turn, I'm passing
this onto my children. There is no recipe and it can't be recreated on paper.
I'm not sure why, but whenever I make it I feel a connection with the past.
Take a Short Trip. If the holiday is near where your ancestors lived,
use the visit as an opportunity to show off where people lived, worked, and
went to school. Pull out a copy of an old map or try to find an old auto club
travel guide or WPA manual and use it to find your way around. It's good for
a few laughs. The older generations may recall the landmarks of their youth,
but this will be new for the kids.
Play Games. Many of the same games you played as a child are still
available today. If you still have your original version, drag it out and invite
the family to play. Try teaching the kids a card game from your childhood. They
will probably see similarities to the ones they play today. Take a break from
electronic toys and show them what fun was like before television and video
games. There will be a certain amount of disbelief but there is nothing like
a game to teach every participant a few things. Besides, it provides a relaxing
after-mealtime activity and memories that can't be duplicated. You and the children
will remember it forever.
Go Online. If you can't convince teenagers that your suggestions
are enjoyable, try making family history a group activity by discovering where
your family was in 1920? 1820? Or farther back. See what information is available
in maps, documents, and census records through Ancestry.com. Try to focus on
one person and create a new family story from the information you find.
Sure, the holidays are stressful and tiring, but they are also a great time
to remember their original purpose. Holidays are about being with family and
friends. Why not take the time to discover something new about that uncle you
can't stand? You might be surprised to hear about his exploits and find out
he isn't as bad as he seems. Take a break from the hectic preparations and find
a way to step back. Whenever the holidays get too frenetic, try to think about
what you want your kids or grandkids to remember about the day. You'll slow
down and take it easier for their sake. Whatever you do and whomever you're
with, remember to bring a little history to the table. Some genealogical discoveries
are sure to follow. At the end of the day, bring out that printed tree or sampler
again and ask the kids to create their own using the new things they learned.
You've helped create a whole new generation of genealogists and have the visual
proof.
Maureen A. Taylor, is the author of Preserving Your Family Photographs (Betterway
2001) and Uncovering Your Ancestry Through Family Photographs (Betterway 2000)
as well as a guide to family history for kids, Through the Eyes of Your Ancestors
(Houghton Mifflin, 1999). Her numerous television and radio appearances include
The View, MSNBC and DIY: Scrapbooking. She can be reached at: mailto:mtaylor@taylorandstrong.com
Copyright 2001, MyFamily.com.
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