The holidays are a time when we naturally share family stories. Here are some tips to help you encourage, collect, and save the most meaningful of these stories. 

Equipment
You don’t need special equipment to be able to gather family stories. The most important thing is the people. With a good memory or a simple notebook, you can capture the best parts of your family legacy.

A tape recorder or a video camera, however, can help you remember the details and save the stories for future generations to hear first-hand. If you are using a recording device, you’ll want to ask yourself a few questions beforehand to make sure everything is set up properly:

• Will ambient noise make it hard to hear the stories?
• Will the microphone pick up both the questions and the answers?
• Is there enough light to capture video well in the situation you’re planning to record?
• Is the equipment as inconspicuous as possible?
• Are the batteries charged? Are the tapes labeled and new?
• Is everyone comfortable with being recorded?

The session itself can be as formal as a videotaped interview with Grandma or as simple as putting a tape recorder in the middle of the Thanksgiving table. Whatever you do, the most important thing is to make sure it fits the culture of your family so everyone is as comfortable as they can be. The most meaningful stories are best shared in a ‘safe’ environment. 

How to start
Some people are very comfortable telling stories and only need a few prompts to be off and running. Others are less natural storytellers and can use some help. For those who can use a little prodding, consider the following:

• Start with detailed but easy questions. Who? What? When? Where? Why? Asking detailed questions one at a time will help get the ball rolling. Who was Great Aunt Patty’s mother? Where did you and Grandpa live after the war? Why did you move to Rock Falls?
• Sometimes beginning with any of the five senses can help conjure long forgotten memories as well. What did the kitchen smell like when you were a boy? What sounds do you remember from the street in Brooklyn? What did you often eat for dinner?
• Listen with respect and empathy. Ask questions to probe for details, but try not to interrupt the “tangents”—these can actually lead to the most compelling stories.
• Bring out family photos, mementos, and heirlooms to help the conversation. Who’s the person in this picture standing next to Uncle Ned? Was the snow always that deep in winter? When did Grandpa give you this ring?
• Take bite-sized chunks. It’s impossible for anyone to boil a lifetime of memories into an hour long interview and get to any level of depth. Instead, start with a time period (i.e., after the farm was sold), a place (i.e., Kansas City), or a thing (i.e., the steamer from Dublin) as a focus point and dig into the details.
• Include the whole family. The more people participate, the more meaningful the outcome will be to all. Kids especially enjoy being part of the process. If they’re young enough to need help, you can hand out 3x5 cards with questions—or whisper in their ears.
• Once the conversation is rolling, you can ask the deeper questions. Try to avoid yes or no questions such as Did you like school? Though still useful questions, they don’t tend to prompt people to go very deep. Try more open-ended questions such as School must have been very different when you were a boy. What subject did you struggle with most? Who was your favorite teacher? When did you start noticing girls?
• On the other hand, questions that are too broad, such as What was it like during the War?, can make it hard for the storyteller to know where to start. Try to give the storyteller something specific to craft their story around and you will get more vivid answers. The War must have been a time of extreme emotions. What was the most terrifying moment? What do you most wish you could have done differently? There also must have been good times. What was your favorite moment? What did you carry with you? How did you feel when you came home?

Thought starters

• Growing up. Where did they live? Was other family around? Pets? Livestock? What was the house like? Did it have indoor plumbing? Electricity? Phone? What household items stand out in their memory? What were their neighbors like? Did the town have a railroad? What kind of shops? Religious affiliations? School? Games and toys? Vacations? Friends? Parents’ occupations?
• Leaving home. Did they leave for marriage? College? Military service? Work? Where did they go? How did it feel to be in a different place? What did they miss most? What was the biggest relief?
• Spouse. How did they meet? How long did they date before being married? What did a typical date look like? What attracted them to each other? Where was the wedding? Who participated? What songs were played? The honeymoon?
• Interests and events. How did they first get interested in their occupation? What did they do for fun? What were their favorite meals? Special skills? What key events were most important to their lives? Where did they live? Who were their friends? What vacations did they take? Did they serve in the military? What humorous events do they remember?
• Their own family. What do they remember about their children’s births? How did they cope with the life change of becoming a parent? What were some of their favorite memories of parenthood? Their most frustrating? Funniest? What were their child’s first words? Friends? Favorite games? What were their favorite activities after their kids left the house? What jobs did they have? What activities did they do in retirement? What physical characteristics run in the family? Illnesses? Talents?
• Biographical information. What are maiden names? Dates and places of birth? Names of siblings, parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins?

What to do with what you collect
The two most important things you want to do with the precious stories you’ve heard are to preserve and share them.

As soon as possible after you’ve heard the stories, go back to your notes or recordings and type those you want to share while your memory is still fresh. Note all names, dates, and places on a separate piece of paper.

If you haven’t already done so, create a free family tree at http://www.ancestry.com/trees. If you’ve already created a tree, return to Ancestry.com, login, and click on the ‘My Ancestry’ link in the top navigation bar to access your tree.

You can save all of the names, dates and places in the tree itself. Then click to the ‘Person View’ of the storyteller. Here you can upload all applicable family history photos as well as the stories you’ve typed, and create a timeline of major life events. A ‘Share my tree’ link in the upper right-hand corner allows you to invite family members to view the tree and fill in any knowledge gaps.

In this way, your precious family stories, photos, information, and events are saved from disappearing and are simultaneously made accessible to all the rest of the loved ones you choose to invite.